"Houston We Have a Problem"

"We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight"

2 Corinthians 5:7 

First comes love...check....then comes marriage....check! Now its time for the baby part right?? I wish! Yes i know not a lot of people desire to get married and then have a child right away but we did! Don't get me wrong there is nothing i enjoy more than spending time with my husband going and doing and just enjoying each other.....but for as long as i can remember my desire has been to be a mother! (Maybe it was because my mother was so awesome, I don't know :) Most couples hardest part of their first year of marriage I would think is bills or money or not agreeing on chores or even learning how to live as a house of two and realizing your decisions no longer just affect you...but ours has been entirely different! Ours has been the challenge of infertility. Yes i said it out loud....INFERTILITY! It is not something people talk about yet it is all around us and affects more people than you think and we are one of those couples.  My heart breaks for the people I know going through the same thing, The ones who endure this kind of heartbreak again and again and again! This was my reason for starting to blog. I want to remember it all and one day my child can look back and know there is not a day that goes by that I wanted to have that child more than anything in this world. Years before we got married I was diagnosed with POCS. My doctor told me that when the time came having children would be a struggle for me...by the time the time came my ovaries had almost completely stopped working. On January 25 I was diagnosed with anovulation due to my POCS.....that was one of the worst days of my life, but i have a wonderful doctor who assured me everything was going to be ok and hopefully he could fix the problem..That was the beginning of our fertility drug journey that lasted three months and had very little effect on my body. In May he looked at me and said there is nothing else I can give you, I am referring you to a specialist.......that was a devastating day as well! So now we have started our newest journey...the ART clinic in Birmingham...it has been an emotional  roller coaster ride! So far everything we have done with them has been unsuccessful and nothing has gone as planned. Right now due to some complications we are taking a break. Now with all that being said as sad as it makes us at times it has taught us the real meaning of joy!(It seems to be hard to come by sometimes and so we start finding joy in the little things...ex. i love to listen to jordan talk in his sleep and tell me how much he loves me ;)) We just got back from a much needed beach vacation and it was wonderful! We never  want to let the pain of not being able to have a baby right now take over the joy of all of the great things in our life! This is the moment in our marriage I learned that my husband was made just for me. He has been my rock in all of this! He is my cheerleader and my shouder to cry on...he is there to hold my hand even when he is trying to fight the urge to pass out..and I could not do this without him. But most importantly of all we have learned to Walk By Faith, Not By Sight"  in everything we do!

2 Corinthians 5:7